Heyo! Im reopening my commissions! I have 20 slots open, and DMs are welcome.

writing-prompt-s:

The Christian god decides to send an army of angels to purge the earth so humanity can start clean but the pagan gods come to the aid of humans

Time to attempt* to write the fuck outta this!

*(i havent written in 11 years but time to try again!)

homemademonsterpants:

monsterlets:

monsterlets:

words of power do exist…. i can walk out of my apartment wearing the most fuck shit, e.g. swim trunks as shorts w a zipped up hoodie and no shirt underneath, and just say the words “laundry day” and suddenly it’s way less weird

“laundry day” spell: decreases target’s judgment of outfit by 80%

I picked up a banana print shirt in Vietnam - were talkin LOUD - and the first time someone commented on it I said “It’s banana shirt friday” which stunlocked them and blocked any followup questions.

Turns out that saying “it’s banana shirt friday” enough actually created a holiday at my office where everyone would wear fruit print clothes on fridays! So yes, words of power exist. :)

(via severedned)

secondlina:

tattooedzombigirl:

theman:

beardedmrbean:

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

Reblogging because it’s a damn potato and I want to encourage people to assume potatoes are magical.

(via strampunch)

dreamofbecoming:

worldheritagepostorganization:

weepingwillo:

kristiemewisstan:

atlinmerrick:

fysticalmorest:

pawton-meowity:

jamie-is-spooky:

razzal213:

borzboy:

yondus-wife:

scoobertdoobertlove:

ladyallo:

colorguardian18:

a-walking-lovesong:

attentiondeficitstarscream:

attentiondeficitstarscream:

me at any given time: can we just buckle down and focus on the task at hand please???

my brain:

my brain: ……….ranibow sprimkle……………

ranibow sprimkle……..

kepchup.

SPINCH

B A N C H

chichen nuggest

b R o G L e

strawbebbies..

this post almost moved me to tears

Tag yourself, I’m spinch or rainbow sprimkle

I’m kepchup lmao

Brogle and rainbow sprimkle

This is so charming I feel punched in the solar plexus and I’m here for this sort of gentle, sweet violence.

some additions from my own collection

World Heritage Post

(via severedned)

chordsykat:

tellmevarric:

kyraneko:

systlin:

Seriously though, modern fandom, y’all need to remember that you can, like, ship multiple ships. 

Like I can ship two ships that are diametrically opposed, at the same time, because I like both ideas. You don’t have to choose one or the other. 

Like I can ship, for example, Sam/Frodo, and also Sam/Rosie, both AT THE SAME TIME. I don’t have to pick ONE couple and denounce all others, and tell everyone else that their ships are WRONG and BAD and mine is the only TRUE AND CORRECT ship. 

Related: You don’t have to sink other ships to sail yours.

Exactly! You can have more than one ship. You can have an ARMADA!!!

Ship everything and ship it so hard you end up sideways in the Suez.

(via severedned)

fallingtowers:

i live in the most haunted house in the northern hemisphere because i keep buying cursed dolls and cracking them open like pistachios to release the ghosts inside em. see i’ve got this business idea and it’s to unethically harvest their ectoplasm and sell it in little jars like honey. unfortunately i’ve hit a snag, namely that ectoplasm tastes like shit and also if you ingest it you permanently lose the capacity to feel joy. so now i’ve got a bunch of unsatisfied customers who are literally impossible to please banging on my door at all hours. it doesn’t really matter though because the ghosts are already constantly slamming all my doors and cabinets so it’s just a wall of sound in here at all times anyway. i’m pretty sure i’ve got tinnitus now but on the upside i’ve got this new business idea where i repair old dolls with kintsugi and sell them at a ridiculous markup to etsy women in cuffed corduroy pants.

aeoliantectrix:

thememedaddy:

1) why are you RIGHT

2) hotdong

3) bamhurger

(via deathtokillian)